2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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