1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
