Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
