if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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