Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
