sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
