you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
