I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
