I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
