Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
