Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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