Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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