my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
