I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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