I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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