I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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