how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
