: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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