is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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