Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize