which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
