you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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