real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize