i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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