Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
