he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
pray to the hookup gods
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
