no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Found the puke drawer
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize