just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
