I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
