I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
