As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
