There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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