just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
