The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
