ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
