The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
