They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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