Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Enjoy the penises
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
