Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
