I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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