I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
