Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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