Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
