You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
