I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
