is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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