Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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