Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
