butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I believe in your delicious
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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