I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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