before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
