The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
