Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
