Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
