I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
