I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
