you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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