Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
