but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
