I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
