I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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