At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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