i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
