sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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