The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Who died my cat blue again?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize